1. Whenever I see peanutbutter I think of this crazy girl who used to live near my Step-Dad’s mom. When I was like, twelve years old, this girl (I cannot recall her name) told me that she ate poo before. I was digusted and confused and amazed. “What did it taste like?”, I said. “Peanutbutter.”, she replied. I love peanutbutter, and still do… but I sure as hell am not gonna try poo NOR am I gonna be able to ever forget what she said poo tasted like. She’s a sick fuck. She’s probably stripping for attention right now in Jersey. Poor thing.

2. Without fail, when I am talking to a guy, my eyes graze over his crotch. I am a pig. Sorry fellahs, I AM sizing you up.

3. Whenever some one is talking to me and pauses in their story by saying the words “but, umm.” I always have to say “bud ump bump” You know, like the rimshot sound effect? I’m always the only one who thinks it’s funny. I think it’s because they are really trying to get their point across and when I interrupt with my babble, I make them forget their entire point. THAT is what makes it SO funny. You should try it.

4. Any time I see Gordon Ramsay, I picture myself at the foot of his bed. He is just waking up and I am ironing his shirts, wearing nothing but a pair of fuck-off heels. I dislike this thought because I will never meet this man, let alone be that intimate with him. *sigh*

5. I’ll hear certain words and I’ll start singing a song in my head that holds the word in the lyrics. Ex:

Random Person:”Jenna, can you pass the salt shaker?”

Jenna: “Well shake it up baby… Twist and Shout…”

Hope you have some funny quirks to share with me that are similar. If not, then I will have to live with the fact that I may be certifiable.

List of Jenna’s Toddler Characteristics:

1. I am constantly falling and skinning my right knee. I’m serious. It’s way pink.

2. I scratch myself by accident and leave marks that make me look like a complete “case”. Example: This morning in the shower, I scratched my self in the neck! It fucking hurts and it makes me look like a whore.

3. I cannot resist making funny faces in public mirrors. Trust me, without fail, I will goof off in a mirror with NO problem in public. Ask any of my friends, they’ll back me up.

4. I still pick my Mom “flowers”. Okay, they’re really dandelions. But I think they’re pretty.

5. My food barely reaches my stomach. Where does it go? My face, clothes and teeth. I keep a supply of wipes handy to save my friends the horror of my mis-placed food.

That’s the abridged list – you don’t want me to go any further.

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